because yeah x

While scrolling down my Facebook home page I came across one of those silly pictures that are absolutely everywhere, it said something along the lines of 'If you like this picture an Angel will come down and grant you a wish.' these pictures do my head in usually but this time I realised that I needed something to write about, so yeah.

I don't think I believe in a god or an afterlife but, I believe that my Mum left for a reason and not just her life was over. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, usually I don't think about anything specific but she still crosses my mind.
I remember how she was so excited when we bought our house in Craanford. How she would sing me a song every night before I went to sleep, it was always the same song, always. How sometimes we'd walk to school and I'd love it.
She had dark brown hair and when I was 6 I looked like her when she was 6.
Sometimes people that knew her really well tell me little things about her that I never knew, I absolutely adore that.
I remember the day she died, I remember my Grand Dad Cassidy was the first person to arrive at the house after she had been taken away, followed by my Nana and aunty Siobhan. I remember Siobhan ran up and hugged me outside the front door.
I remember sending what felt like forever down in my room with Siobhan and Fran, I'm still unsure why.
I remember being introduced to brothers and sisters of my Grand Dad.
I remember Daddy had plenty of friends being around, I remember aunty Siobhan telling me that she stayed in Mac and Ash's house.
I don't remember crying, not at all. But I remember we all said prayers before the wake and as we finished I walked outside and saw the people I knew from Dun Laoighaire and I don't think I'll forget that feeling of safeness that I felt when I was 7 years old.
I remember Daddy asked did I want to draw pictures and stick them on to the side of the box that Mum laid in in the front room, I think I did but I cant be sure.
I remember on the way to the church in Craanford, I sat in tat big long car that I can never remember the name of.
I remember Jack, who wasn't even two brought a football to the funeral and ran up and down the church with it.
I remember seeing the coffin being lowered into the ground, I don't remember if I cried or who I stood beside, but the thought that I wouldn't see her again stood out.
I don't remember how long I was out of school or what I did afterwards but as far as I remember Mairead and James stayed longer than anyone else, Mairead gave me books.
Every year that I was in primary school on her anniversary we went up to Dublin and I went to my old school.
Every occasion that my Mum has I go down to visit her because its only fair, and every single occasion there's red roses on her grave, from Granny Wolanczyk.
I've forgotten the things about her that I promised myself I wouldn't forget, the sound of her voice, the way she smelled and I'm upset because of it.

But I've grown to accept it and I have an awful lot of great people in my life now.
I hope she knows how much I miss her.
Just your Average Teenage Wizard xo