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I have this empty feeling in my tummy. Its not because I'm hungry, I never let myself get hungry because I'm pretty much a fat mess. But yeah, its an empty feeling. So I'll sit here with my ladybird earphones in, listening to songs that will probably result in me bursting into tears. I don't even know whats wrong, you know when all of a sudden you feel really small, as if you don't matter and that everything you've ever done is useless and that all your dreams are actually really small and meaningless. I don't know what this sinking feeling is, myself and Tom are fine, my family are fine, I was talking to my Mum's Mum earlier who is fine, I'm going to see Ed on Saturday which is well, much more than fine.
Speaking of Ed, I'm going with Iseabail. Last week me and Iseabail and her cousin Kayley watched the Perks Of Being A Wallflower (if anyone has the book I'd much appreciate if I could borrow it and read it because the movie was beautiful). But that's not what I'm on about, there's a quote in this story that I, Maeve, have fallen for. This quote says "so, this is my life and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be". Although I have so much to be excited for in 2013, I just don't think I have the energy for it.
Albus Dumbledore was a man of many famous words, he once told me that numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when I finally decide to feel it, but I'm not sure what pain I'm numbing. How can you heal from something you're not one hundred percent you're sure you felt before hand? I've closed my facebook tab to the things that I don't want to see, it makes me feel relaxed that I know nothing can pop up on the tab to give me a fright or make me wish I had done something differently, nothing in particular, just things in general.
I'm decided to listen to Snow Patrol because I don't think they're praised enough for their amazing work, my favourite song of theirs is 'You Could Be Happy'. I recall one memory of this song, I was on facebook at the time actually.. But I'll never forget how that link made me feel; it was as if I felt proud of myself for introducing this song into other peoples lives, people that I wanted in my life so badly. Most of you will have no idea what I'm talking about, but one or two will.
I've decided to replay the song over and over because I find listening to it is almost like lying on clouds, or sleeping in on a Saturday.
I think it's Ben & Jerry's ice-cream I need, caramel chew-chew! If anyone would be a baby doll and bring me some I'd probably marry you and we could live in the magical world inside my head forever.
I thought I'd leave with one more quote, I know a beautiful girl; she's so important to me and I could trust her with anything, she's so uncool that it's cool and I could talk to her forever and never get bored. I hope she knows who she is, if she doesn't she'll know right now. The quote is 'If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to.'
I couldn't be without you girl x x

See you all later boyos,
Just Your Average Teenage Wizard xo